I discovered a new dangerous combination today: Watching England play football while you're having problems with your internet connection...
To be specific: I watched England attempt to play football against Poland in their latest World Cup qualifier. At the same time I was on my laptop trying to work out why my internet connection has been so slow in the last couple of days. SpeedTest.net registered an upload speed of ..... 0.00. Can't be good, I thought. I duly grabbed a phone/broadband utilities bill and spotted with joy the paragraph that promises that if you ring a certain number you can, quote, "chat to us instantly"... Fifteen minutes later a human being finally acknowledged my existence on the other end of the line.
I was then instructed to go to the provider's own speedtest site. My download speed was good; the upload speed was still failing to get out of the blocks. Apparently the Ping something-or-other was too high!
Then, with a masterly piece of technical advice that would not be out of place on the "IT Crowd" I was asked to - wait for it - unplug both my router and hub! Had to pull the TV stand out to get to the thing they installed on the wall but, what the heck, England were playing atrociously. Pulled out power lead on router. Pulled out power lead on hub. Plugged both back in again. Did the speedtest again. Ah! My Ping rating had gone down. This is, apparently, good (Ping must be a bit like blood pressure). And my upload speed had finally got off the ground. I'm promised a phone call in 24 hours to check that all is okay.
As for the football... well, I wish I could have unplugged a few of the talentless individuals wearing the three lions in Poland. If only their upload could be improved so easily...
