Same old ...

Watching the England football team is an activity that really should come with a government health warning.

Over the years the sorrows, the frustrations, the anger, the tension-induced migraines ... and that's just on the good days! What was it Baddiel and Skinner sang: "Thirty years of hurt, never stopped me dreaming...". That was back in 1996. Make that 47 - and counting.

Last  night I sat through another hugely disappointing (more polite than a word like 'woeful') England performance, as they attempted to beat the might of Montenegro in a World Cup qualifier.

Montenegro is a country with a population of less than 700,000. Admittedly, it was once part of Yugoslavia and, even more recently, part of Serbia, so it does have something of a footballing heritage. But even so.

England started brightly and were a goal up inside ten minutes. But as the game unfolded it revealed once again our total inability to take control, or even to maintain the control we have established in a game. By the end we were somewhat fortunate to hang on for a draw - which was also the case in an earlier qualifier in Poland.

Personally, I think Roy Hodgson played the wrong formation. It was a kind of 4-3-2-1 (once christened "the Christmas tree"), with Gerrard, Carrick and Cleverly in front of the back four, and with Welbeck and Milner further forward and wide, leaving Rooney alone up front.

It was wrong because if Rooney is played as a lone striker he needs someone coming through from the centre of midfield to support him. Carrick will never do that in a million years. He is one-paced and seems to think that a football field consists of the centre-circle.

It was wrong because it left Milner nothing to do. He lacks the pace ever to frighten defenders. But at least when England play a kind of 4-2-3-1 (with two deep-lying midfielders tucked in and Milner as part of the '3' in front of them) he can justify his existence by dropping back and supporting the full-back in wide positions.

It was wrong because both Cleverley and Welbeck lack positional sense. Oh, and talent.

It's true that England were missing a few players because of injury, but that's something you have to put up with in football.

Maybe the influx of overseas players and the pursuit of short-term financial rewards has suffocated the domestic game. I don't know. Some will say, England just aren't good enough, but something inside of me says, We should be. At least good enough to compete at the top level of the game - even if we didn't actually win anything.

Oh well. At least we have a break now. The World Cup qualifiers don't resume until the start of next season. Perhaps by then some emerging new talent will ... have emerged. We can but continue to dream. And stock up on the Migraleve.

Sentences are complicated things!

Why would you want, er, why would you want a TV presenter who can't speak in sentences? Why have someone who, er, why have someone who can't speak without repeating the first part of every sentence?

If you know who, er, if you know who I'm referring to, please, um, please post a comment. Does he, er, does his spoil your enjoyment of football on TV?

All change?

Right. Tottenham Hotspur, as all football fans will know, play in white. Inter Milan, the famous Italian club, play in dark blue and black stripes.

In their recent European tie, played at Tottenham's White Hart Lane football ground, Inter Milan played in an all-red strip.

Why?

In days gone by football teams had 'second-strips', or 'change-strips', to be used in the event of a 'colour clash'; that is, when two sides played in the same colours, or sufficiently similar colours to cause confusion.

The general principle was that, on such occasions, the away-team would wear their alternate colours. This principle gradually led to the term 'away-strip' replacing 'second-strip' or 'change-strip' as the more common reference ... but the principle behind the usage, surely, remained the same.

So why the Inter Milan colour change? I suspect this is another example of commercialism and money-men dictating terms in football. Somewhere along the line some sponsor has demanded that Inter Milan wear their new change strip on a regular enough basis to encourage more gullible people to dig deep into their pockets and fork out the not-inexpensive sum required to buy a replica shirt or kit, either for themselves or for their children.