Feet ... you have two of them

In my twenties I was never anything more than an average Sunday league park footballer. I could claim I was obviously missed by the talent scouts ... but people wouldn't take that seriously.

But ... I could kick a football with both of the feet God has given me. Of course I had a 'stronger' foot (my right) with which I took penalties. But if, in a passage of play, it suited to pass with my left foot (or even shoot with it) I was competent to do so.

Professional footballers (and especially those who represent their country) who can only kick the ball with one foot have always irritated me. More importantly, though, I believe they will always be a liability at some point, either from an attacking or defensive point of view.

And yet pundits, sports writers and - crucially - coaches seem to ignore this. In the less forgiving world of an individual sport (like, say, tennis) if a player had an obvious weakness to their game the coaches would work on it to improve it. Does that not happen with football?

Take Leighton Baines, the left-back. I'm sure most pundits and sports writers would generally speak well of him when playing for England as he did last night (in the World Cup qualifier against Poland).

Baines is good when England are moving forward at pace. He is strong and tenacious, and has a more than decent cross on him (witness England's first goal). If he is facing the opponent's corner-flag he is fine.

But if the play slows down and Baines is turned (so that he has his back to the sideline) he immediately becomes a liability to the forward momentum of an attack.

Why? Because every time he gets the ball in a position like that he passes back to one of the central defenders. The reason he does this is because he is only willing to play the ball with his left foot. Even when a diagonal ball infield (to a midfielder or striker) with his right foot would be the better ball. When a diagonal ball infield would keep the passage of play flowing. Watch him the next time he plays.

England are often criticized for their inability to break teams down. One of the reasons for this is we don't move the ball around the pitch quick enough.

And Baines' steadfast refusal to play the ball inside with his right foot is one reason why that doesn't happen (there are others, of course).

Coaches need to do their job properly. They should have him out on the training park and tell him he can only play the ball with his right foot until he is competent to do so. If a Sunday league park footballer can do it so can he.

Tasteless design

Honestly! Where on earth do football kit manufacturers get their designers from these days?

I am torn between concluding that, perhaps, many of them are using six-year-olds who like colouring things in at random; or that they are employing people who are permanently on mind-altering drugs.

Take, as an example, this year's offering from Liverpool of an away kit and a third kit (it's not enough, it seems, these days to have one 'away' kit; you have to exploit the punters' wallets by coming out with two). The 'first' away kit looks like a white shirt that someone has spilt oil on ... and then cut themselves. The so-called 'third' kit (left) looks like a child has drawn shapes on a piece of paper and coloured them in with whatever shade of pencil they could get their hands on. The tops of the socks don't even match. I am not the first to describe the whole thing as hideous.

If I were the manager of a football team I would have it written into my contract that I would have the final say on what kit my players were actually going to wear when representing the club.

And if anyone came up with tasteless disasters like this I would tell them to go back to the drawing board and come up with something simpler.